Malevolence and paranoia

“Malevolence and paranoia cohabit in a twisted mind. Bad men trust no one because they know the treachery of which they themselves are capable of.” – Dean Koontz (Odd Hours)

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Rage or Kindness : The last battle

He went outside, looked at the mysterious blue moon and smiled. He took a deep breath and that fresh dose of oxygen seemed to have revived the painful memory. The smile faded away for he was only trying to fool himself. He let the knife down and held his head between his hands shutting his eyes with all his might until it became painful, still the tragic memory wouldn’t disappear, wouldn’t quit distorting his tormented soul. He wasn’t going to sleep because he knew insomnia awaited him like a sadistic monster that tortured him every night for the last week. And so he sat down and looked at the knife then held it in front of his eyes. Oh the idea of suicide had crossed his mind many times but he would never do it, he never took the easy way out. He won’t give them the satisfaction of seeing his frail body buried in the ground. He was the last man standing against it and he won’t let go. A gigantic responsibility for he was mankind’s last hope. He was now the incarnation of HOPE and every other value that used to rein every human soul but his baggy eyes, broken nose, lacerated cheeks showed that he has taken a few blows. His once pure gentle angel’s soul has been infected. New feelings surged; he felt angry at the world he once adored, angry at them for leaving him lonely. Oh how lonely he felt! For nights, he cried his eyes out seeking a helping hand, a whispered advice that would never come. Alone, haunted by the memory of his dear wife, he sat there for hours thinking of that miserable day: the day her poor soul couldn’t handle all this misery that fell upon earth and her eyes were shut forever. She was his last companion and her presence always brightened his spirit and gave him hope that one day they’d win their battle against evil in all its forms. But she’s gone now and he thought of joining her and letting this sick world destroy itself. He remembered her last words clearly, she said: “There’s no pure evil, my dear, and no pure goodness. Every soul is a mixture of both. Man kind has strayed when it favoured the darkness but deep down lays a faint light of virtue and kindness. Awaken that side, unleash it from its cage and let it strive but first cleanse your soul from every sinful feeling this fight has brought upon it”. He must pull himself together and give it one last shot. He stood up and threw the knife. He’s been wandering around with that knife for the last three or four days. Strange, he never knew he possessed a knife. And suddenly he realised it was made out of anger and frustration! The blade was getting bigger everyday as the feelings of rage and betrayal infested his spirit. He felt better now, free from the feelings that made the past days of his existence a nightmare. He dragged himself to the bed and slept like a baby smiling as he dreamed of his wife laughing and dancing with joy and whispering encouragements… He woke up revived and energized not knowing how much time he slept. He knew what he had to do now and he wasn’t afraid. He’s going to do whatever it takes, the path to reconvert the world was long and hard but he will fight for what he believed in, until every form of malice has been abolished. He knew though that he had to watch out for he could stray from the right path any moment but he hoped the memory of his dear wife would guide him. The fight has now begun…

Download / By Tirza van Dijk
Source: Unsplash by By Tirza van Dijk