I rarely have lunch outside. When I say rarely, I mean I can spend years without stepping inside a restaurant. And, so after 2 years of eating at home, you’d expect me to jump joyfully when I was invited. But, no I was practically dragged to go.
I don’t really enjoy eating outside. Thanks to the internet, I have nightmares about the germs in public places. Even though, this was a fancy restaurant, it was also busy. The workers are mere humans, they will make mistakes. That’s why I was reluctant to use the cutlery and the cups. I didn’t even touch the door handle. There was no way I was going to touch it after 100000 greasy dirty hands used it. I sort of jumped inside when the guy in front of me opened it.
The food is a big issue as well. For the past year or so, I’ve been considering vegan-ism. I have come across many documentaries exposing the horrifying treatment of animals. And, honestly, despite all my efforts, it made feel bad about my eating habits. I struggled to admit that vegans are right because I falsely assumed it contradicted my faith. There was another issue as well: there are no vegan products around here. So, for now, I am still eating meat and dairy. However, I always make sure the animals were treated as humanely as possible. In a restaurant, however, the humane way costs a lot of money. I just hope that the owner wasn’t too greedy and that the food won’t make me sick.
Another thing I hate about restaurants is that the food is either too much or not enough. In my case, it was the first. Seriously, the salad alone would’ve been enough. Since I didn’t know the salad was designed to fill a horse, I naturally ordered a main dish. Instantly, an internal conflict arose: Either, I leave the food to be thrown in the garbage or I force it down my throat. I opted for the latter. To remind you, I hate this food since it’s cruelty-full. But, I ate it. 😦
There is one good thing about restaurants. I met the french actress Julie Delpy and the american pop-star Taylor Swift. It was amazing. They sat with me and we had fun. They were super nice. Julie re-enacted some scenes from her movies. You see, I have a habit of meeting celebrities, so I brought a guitar just in case. So, Taylor played us some songs. Nah, I’m just kidding. But, the two women at the next table really looked like them.
Source: The Colbert Report